The stages of religious identity

2-20-2010

I find myself pondering the life cycle of personal spirituality. Probably because I have a lot of writing to do that has nothing to do with religion or spirituality.

Everyone is raised with some view of religion. Either they grow up attending services with their family or they don't. Either way, the children are being taught the values their parents hold. As an adult, some choose to maintain the beliefs or non-beliefs their parents taught and some choose to go a different direction. I went a different direction.

I need to place a disclaimer here. I began this post discussing both faith and non-faith, however the later stages do not address non-faith, because I have no knowledge to share. I haven't studied this except through my own experience, and during stage 4, I realized that non-faith was not the right shirt for me.

The stages of religious identity:

1. Obedience. Children are obedient to their parents, accepting whatever they are taught as the true and only answer. Children have not begun to question the teachings (many do not have the mental acuity yet to question even if they wanted to) and do what they are told. Some adults never leave this stage. They simply replace their parents' teachings with the teachings of the church and remain obedient to whatever laws the powers that be proscribe. This is not a bad thing, but it wasn't good for me.

2. Rebellion. Rebellion may come in the form of refusal to attend services, insistence on attending services (if the family doesn't normally attend), attending services for a different denomination, or changing some other habit.

3. Questioning. Questioning and rebellion may occur in either order, both occur at the same time, or an individual may have repeated cycles of rebel/question. Questioning may take the form of asking parents why they don't practice religion, questioning the specific beliefs or rituals of the family religion, or questioning one's own place within the faith.

4. Experimentation. An individual "taste tests" various religions. She may read the holy books from different religions, attend services at various houses of worship, not attend services, look for the truth in atheism, or try to create her own homebrew religion. The character of CB's sister in Dog sees God is in this stage. The dialogue explains that she has been trying out different religions, about one per week, for some period of time, and is currently Wiccan.

During experimentation, seekers are trying on all the different shirts, trying to find one that feels comfortable and looks good. During the latter stages of experimentation, the seeker looks for something that not only feels comfortable in the fitting room, but wears well and isn't going to go out of style.

At this point, people generally go one of two directions. Either they continue on to step 5, transition, or they decide that their faith/non-faith of origin is the most comfortable for them, and they return to it.

5. Transition. This is when an individual has found a place that is comfortable, but is not yet ready to identify themselves as a member. He is skeptically faithful, studies the history of the belief or non-belief, and scours his own soul to see that he agrees with most if not all of the teachings. He is hesitant to tell friends and family that this is his spiritual belief system, because he's not positive it's going to stick. He becomes a regular attendee, but intentionally keeps himself from making social connections or community commitments within the organization. He's still asking "What can this community/faith/non-faith do for me?" The thought of returning to the faith/non-faith of his upbringing is still around. It is the security of the familiar.

6. Identity. An individual in the identity stage is not afraid to tell people she is a ____ (fill in the blank) but she does not yet complete membership requirements. She sheds the labels associated with her upbringing, and may identify as a former-_______ (fill in the blank). She begins making social contacts within the organization, participating in activities outside the regular services, and at this point knows enough about the faith to explain the beliefs and practices to others, if only at a surface level. She starts looking for deeper meanings in the beliefs to tailor it to herself. She begins to consider what she has to offer to the organization.

7. Conforming (might be called conversion). I don't have much explanation to put here, because I'm not here yet. I think I'm close. But what I do speculate is that this is the time when conversion classes are taken. Membership books are signed, committees are joined. He is excited about all the opportunities available to him through this new organization. He participates enthusiastically and wholeheartedly.

8. Normalizing. The faith becomes a way of life. It takes less effort to participate, the practices and beliefs become part of her. She may begin to forget the reasons that led her to the new faith in the first place, and is able to return to the faith of her upbringing as a visitor. She no longer feels any guilt for abandoning her early teachings (if she ever did). She is willing and able to take others to tour her new faith. She doesn't think twice about whether or not to raise her children with her new beliefs, and understands that the day may come that the children will leave the obedience stage and begin traversing the stages for themselves.