A whole bunch of blessings all wrapped up in a very handsome 96 year old man

I've been slacking on blogging my blessings this week, but that doesn't mean I've not been thinking about them. With the failing health of my grandpa, I've been sharing blessings with my cousins and siblings through a Facebook message as we reminisce about our childhood years with him.  Topics that have come up include: 


Corn roasts
Mama Cat/Dumb Cat
Easter egg hunts in the front yard
Rain barrel baths
The wallpaper in the mud room
The closet full of games
Snowballs
Chickens
Rummy and solitaire
Christmas wrap fights (started by grandpa)
Pronunciation of words: 
warsh (what you do to get the bidadas out of yer ears so you can listen better)
bat trees (what you put in flashlights or radios to make them work)
prit near (almost, "it's prit near time for me to get off the computer and get in the shower")
Christmas trees


And the list goes on. 

Friday blessings

Some days this is really easy.

1. My girl is home.

2. My girl is home.

3. My girl is home.

Thursday's blessings: In pictures

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, so I'm just going to let the pictures do the talking today.
Sorry, it is a little "wordy."

This doesn't come close to covering it, but it's a good start!

Trickle down Grace-onomics

One person can't make a difference in the lives of all the people of the world, but one person might make a difference in the lives of a few.  If each of those few continues spreading the positive feelings and each makes a difference in a few others, then we have "Trickle-down Grace-onomics."  Here's my challenge: post something positive instead of negative, and challenge your friends to do the same.  How far can we make this spread?

3 days worth of blessings (catching up!)

Wow, I'm way behind.  I owe myself (and my readers) 3 days worth of blessings!  Lets see if I can get them down. . .

Monday
1.  I got to see my kid today!  Even though the afternoon didn't go as planned, it was a good day, because I got to spend time with her!
2.  Zipcar is awesome! I never really realized how much we take a reliable car for granted until I didn't have one.
3.  Hmmm. . . this is the last section I'm filling in... what should I say?  Monday was. . . Monday.  But it wasn't a Monday in the "traditional" sense, it was good.  I know!! I stopped by the Mary Godfrey Theater on Monday, and got to see my very special friends Dana, Maria, and Justin!  I don't see them nearly as much as I'd like to.  I hope that once I complete my move to Brockport I am able to find a crew of friends equally as welcoming and loving as my Cheyenne Little Theatre Player friends have been.  They've seen me through a lot.  That group of people is one of the biggest blessings of my life!  (I don't know why I had to think about this. . . that they are a blessing is a given.  Probably just because Monday was a long time ago, now, and I had to stop and think about what I did that day.)

Tuesday
1.  New-old facebook friends resulting from the 1st day of the month.  I could cite Facebook itself as a blessing, as it has virtually reunited me with so many people who were so important to me when I was younger.
2.  November 1.  The 1st day of the last full month before I head back to the eastern time zone, to be with my chosen family and close to my natural, and so badly missed family.
3.  I got to see my kid today! AND I got to see my kid be recognized for making the honor roll.  She is such a smarty-pants-McGillicutty, but struggles in enough ways that I didn't know whether I would ever see the day she made honor roll!

Wednesday
1.  I woke up to another winter wonderland today.  We didn't get as much snow as we did last week, but in a lot of ways it was a prettier snow, probably because it didn't do as much damage to the trees or leave as many people out of power.  There were still some, but not nearly as many.
2.  Tomorrow I start working again, for a little while.  It will make for some long days, but the income is much appreciated.  And, the work is fun.  I'm looking forward to the camaraderie that develops among the table-mates, and also looking forward to once again seeing some people I made connections with last time I did this job.  I hope 8th graders are as entertaining as 2nd and 6th graders were!
3.  Friendly and helpful people at Verizon.  It isn't too often that we can say we got good customer service when calling in to a company.  But tonight I got two very friendly and helpful people who, although they did their jobs in trying to convince me to not reduce my plan (and therefore the money I send to them each month) were enjoyable to talk to.  I hope that I was lighthearted and friendly enough to make their interaction with me as easy and enjoyable as they did my interaction with them.  Thank you Mike and (aptly named) Sunny for making this call a good one!

Sunday's blessings: Transformation

I don't want to seem like I'm fishing for compliments, because I'm really not, I'm just feeling really good about myself lately. Once I realized I couldn't take good care of anyone else without taking care of myself, I started to make myself a priority.

I was looking through old pictures and came across one that I didn't recognize right away as me. I think it is from the summer of 2009, judging by the haircut. This was probably my lowest (or highest) point. My dad says that I am a girl of extremes, but I feel like it is more that I hold my ideas and troubles on the inside for a long time before sharing them. Clearly this picture is from a time when I was holding too much inside me.

I really struggled with the decision to post this picture.  Although I see what I would consider a "pretty face" in this picture, I am really not proud of it.  This is probably about the time when my (very honest) child suggested that I should go on The Biggest Loser.  I did not see myself the way I was, not at all.  But now, I can look back at this and consider it as fodder for a blessing.  I was not healthy, but I'm getting there now.  I didn't like myself, but I was still pretty.  This is probably one of the best pictures of myself that I have from that time period.  

And this is one of the best pictures I have of myself from now, just a little over 2 years after the one above.  

What a difference, huh?  I still have quite a bit of work to do. Even though I'm down about 65 pounds from the 1st picture to the second, I am not yet as healthy as I should be, or could be.  I hope this doesn't sound like bragging about the change. I am evidence that, in my life, it can be done. It hasn't been easy, and it is hard to put the pictures of myself over the last several years in order because my weight has fluctuated so much.

Here are the key steps that made it possible for me:

1.  Accept myself.

2. Take care of myself.

3. Learn to love myself, and allow myself to do so.

4. Allow myself to be loved by another. 

5. Love another, wholeheartedly.  

Notice that in 4 of the 5 steps, the word "myself" is present.  Number 5 could not have come before any of the 1st four. I had to learn that I was worthy of love, my own as well as that of others. 

So today's blessings start with me.  

1. The unique, beautiful person that I am, and have been, throughout my life, to include the last several years.

2. My friends, especially Angel, Dana, Missy, & B*rad, who helped me through the steps because they loved me all along, even when I didn't believe myself worth it.

3. My lovely lady, who tells me every day that I am beautiful.  The 1st time she told me, I laughed.  I still laugh, but now it is more of a shy embarrassed laugh than a comedy club, "that was a really funny joke!" laugh.  

Friday Blessings OR 101 things to do before leaving Colorado State University

There's a bucket list in the student life section of the Colorado State University website called 101 things to do before leaving Colorado State University.  I've pretty much been a hermit the whole time I've been here, but I think I probably crossed a couple of things off the list last night.  I'm not going to do everything on the list in my 4 semesters here, but maybe I'll have a few done.

Friday blessings:  

1. Taking advantage of an opportunity to be social and having fun while doing it.  

2. Finally starting to understand my confusing class.  The pieces are starting to fit together.

3. Feeling inspired. (Clearly this statement would have been more inspired if I'd written it last night... much less inspired so far today.)

Lots of things here that aren't going to happen, several I've done, and I crossed two off last night.  

1. Pet Cam the Ram
2. Ride the Colorado mountains (on skis or a snowboard)
3. Hike to the top of Horsetooth Mountain
4. Vote in an ASCSU election
5. Tailgate before a football game
6. Participate in CSUnity
7. Speak on the stump on the Plaza
8. Attend the President's Fall Address and Picnic
9. Visit all the student diversity offices
10. Meet the ASCSU President
11. Order late night pizza
12. Ride on a Transfort bus (it's free)
13. Attend the lighting of the “A”
14. Attend an ASAP event
15. Help build a homecoming float
16. Go to a football game
17. Swim in Horsetooth Reservoir
18. Do your homework in Monfort Quad
19. Sleep in on a snowy day
20. Go on a local brewery tour
21. Take a moonlight stroll across the Oval
22. Ask someone on a date (corrected. . . I have done this)
23. Get your professor to buy you lunch
24. Volunteer for RamRide
25. Make a request on KCSU (90.5 fm)
26. Watch an ASAP cinema movie
27. Attend the Take Back the Night Rally in April
28. Read the Collegian
29. Go out to eat in Old Town
30. Attend a student diversity program event
31. Raft/Tube/Kayak the Poudre River
32. Play in an intramural game
33. Watch a lightning or rain storm
34. Walk across the Vietnam Memorial Bridge
35. Work out at the Student Recreation Center
36. Meet the ASCSU Vice President
37. Call your parents and tell them you love them
38. Kiss someone at the Oval
39. Hang out at the lagoon
40. Visit the Lory Student Center
41. Wear a ForEverGreen T-shirt
42. Ace a test
43. Take a moment to be thankful for getting an education
44. Watch a sunrise at CSU
45. Read a book outside of class
46. Attend your college council meeting
47. Visit the Wellness Zone and pick up some free stuff
48. Visit/Stay in a residence hall
49. Buy CSU gear from the CSU Bookstore in the LSC
50. Do a lap at the Jack Christiansen Memorial Track
51. Go to a CSU club sports game
52. Walk/Bike/Skateboard/Run along the Spring Creek Trail
53. Ride your bike to school
54. Watch a program on CTV
55. Watch a sunset at CSU
56. Use your ASCSU Handbook/Planner
57. Have a BBQ with friends
58. Say “Hey Coach” to Steve Fairchild
59. Attend a Border War game against Wyoming
60. Go to a swimming and dive meet
61. Get your photo taken with all the Ram statutes on campus
62. Hug a tree
63. Go to an art show in the Curfman Gallery
64. Attend a men's or women's basketball game This one is on my list
65. Go camping
66. Attend a play on campus
67. Go to the annual rodeo
68. Attend the RamWelcome Carnival
69. Attend an International Week Event
70. Join a student organization
71. Go to a drive-in movie
72. Visit the SLiCE office
73. Visit Pingree Park
74. Sing the Fight Song
75. Visit the Study Abroad office
76. Take a nap in the library
77. Attend an ASCSU Senate Meeting
78. Leave your cell phone at home for a day (Lost it for a day, does that count?)
79. Attend the 4th of July fireworks at City Park
80. Go to a concert Did it last night!
81. Attend a professional sporting event in Denver
82. Go dancing at a club with friends I didn't dance, but I think last night counts.  
83. Pull an all-nighter
84. Eat at the food court in the Lory Student Center
85. Get a parking ticket
86. Leave the country for spring break
87. Go to a career fair
88. Party 'til dawn
89. Say 'I love you' to a friend
90. Get a chair massage at the Wellness Zone
91. Make a snowman or a snow angel
92. Climb a 14er
93. Swim in the Rec Center pool
94. Ride a mechanical bull
95. Spend an evening in downtown Denver
96. Visit the Administration Building
97. Talk to your ASCSU Senator
98. Attend Family Weekend with your family
99. Have a chili bowl in the Ramskeller
100. Take a trip to Boulder. Realize how glad you are that you didn't go to CU.
101. Graduate!  December 17th baby!

I still have joy

I still have joy, I still have joy, after all the things I've been through I still have joy!

Music is a great moderator of mood.  I often have music playing and the style depends on what I'm doing at the time or what I need out of the music.  There are times that it takes me some time to find the right music for the moment, I turn on what I think I want to listen to and it ends up agitating me when I'd prefer to be calmed, or it calms me when I want to be excited. 

At the beginning of Unitarian services, there is generally an instrumental music selection identified as "Centering."  This is a time for the congregation to bring themselves into a prayerful or contemplative state.  I have found that I have to take moments from time to time to center myself throughout the week, not just on Sunday, to let go of the frustrations of my life, those things I have no control over, and trust that the powers that be have the master plan all figured out.  Even though I don't know what that plan is, I either have to let life happen, doing what I can to take care of myself and my family, or go crazy worrying about all of the possibilities.  On some days this is a more challenging endeavor than on others.  Those days, I turn to music to help me focus on the good. 

One of the most powerful tools in my music box is the CD my (very wise) daughter asked me for.  Her favorite track on the CD is the title track, Same Old Slippers.  I'm pretty sure this is because she got to sing it with Judy at a performance in Boulder, Colorado.  My favorite track varies from day to day; some days it is Welcome to the Circle, some days I Still have Joy, or any number of others.  The important thing to me is that I know that if I'm having one of those days when I am struggling with life in general, I can turn on this CD and I will be able to find a track that helps me center.

How do you center? How do you manage those days that make it seem like it is just too much? Do you focus on all that has gone wrong or try to think about all that has gone right?  Do you focus on the worst that could happen or consider the best that could come?  Do you have tools that you use to center when you feel yourself getting to that point when you just want the day to be over?  Where do you live, or maybe the better question is, when do you live?  Do you dwell in the past, enjoy the present, anticipate the future?  What do you use to center?  It could be a piece of music, a Bible passage, crafting, exercise, cooking, or something else.

We can all use more tools for our toolbox, for those days that none of the ones we have seem to work.  It could be interesting and helpful to others to share our tools with each other.  If you're willing, comment below, on Facebook, or through a private message to me. I have a project in mind for the collection of ideas.

Thursday and (oops!) Wednesday

So last night I didn't do my blessings.  I could make excuses from now until next Tuesday, but I won't bore anyone with those.  Let me think through yesterday . . .

1. Spoons - it is a convenience restaurant chain here that serves soup, salad, and sandwiches.  All of their menu items are marked with dietary needs, to include dairy free, vegetarian, vegan, and gluten free.  I can eat there with confidence!

2. Finally understanding enough of my testing and measurement class to feel ready for the exam I had today.

3. The snow.  As much destruction as it did to the trees, I was so glad to have winter start.  It was a short lived storm and the snow has already melted off of most of the trees.  I love the cold mornings this time of year.  Such a nice break from the inescapable heat of summer.

4. My new boots. they kept my feet warm and dry in the 9 inches of snow.

5. My lovely lady.  She always seems to know just when I need to hear her voice or read a message.  I love the way she can make me smile.

6. Our boy.  His teenage enthusiasm is so enjoyable to hear.  He's having a successful school year and finding his niche in New York.

7.  My girl.  Her hugs, her laughter, her smile. That little girl consumes my heart.

Soapbox?

I'm in the mood to get on a soapbox about something.  But I don't really have anything to soapbox about.  Not exactly sure why I'm in this mood, except that I'm feeling really good about an exam grade I FINALLY got from an exam 2 weeks ago, and that it is 11pm and I'm still awake, and therefore punchy.  Maybe tomorrow I'll soapbox about something.  I think I'll keep this post available to soapbox whenever I feel the need.  When I do, I'm sure it will fall into one of two categories: Social justice or personal responsibility, which often affects social justice.  Maybe one day I'll take my social justice soapbox rants public and make some good happen with them.

Tuesday: Short and Shallow

1.  My girl got a student of the month for reading today!  She has jumped a couple of grade levels in reading, after losing a level last time she was at this school, and her goal is to be late 7th grade reading level by the end of the year.

2. Hulu Plus.  I can watch all the programs I want to watch without being bound by the programming schedule.

3. Tequila.  Gluten free, and it tastes good.

Monday, 10-24

This exercise is definitely harder some days than it is on others. It is not the particularly rough days that are hard, but those days that fall somewhere in the mediocre range.  My Pollyanna-esque "Glad-game" carries me through the super tough days.  Today was kind of blah.  The donuts from Saturday came back to kick me in the gut midday today, and I tried to do some "retail therapy" of the secondhand type this evening (it was a total wash), but I didn't get any writing done, except for an email to a lawyer in Cheyenne and this blessings exercise, which I'm committed to carry through at least 21 days.

So, today's blessings:

1. My sister.  Her move across the country, along with my move across the country means for the first time in our adult lives we will be only a couple of hours away from each other.  And between us?  Finger lakes and wineries.  She will be able to come up and see me and my daughter do our things, I will be able to go down and see her do her things, and when neither of us have things, we can meet in the middle for a weekend or a dinner or a walk in the park.

2. My daughter. Yes, she will continue to pop up here, because she blesses my life every day.  Last time she was here she recorded a special ringtone on my phone, and we set it up for the two numbers that she calls me from.  So now, whenever my little girl calls, I hear her voice saying, "Momma, answer the phone, I want to talk to you!!" Today she was excited about her math homework - she's starting 4th grade algebra- and super excited about having a pajama day at school tomorrow as part of Red Ribbon (Drug Free) week.  Last Friday, since she is part of the student council for her school, she got to go to the Administration building for the opening of Red Ribbon week and see a presentation done for all the powers that be for the school district.

3. I think I can use this one, it did give me a little thrill... I got carded at the liquor store today!  Sure the signs say if you look under a certain age, prepare to be carded. But I can't remember the last time I was carded at that particular store.  Or anywhere for that matter.  My hair chick is awesome!